Power Rankings: 2006
Welcome to the official Bowling League power rankings for the 2006 season. We'll use the same format (average finish b/w 04 and 05) as last year in determining where teams stand to kick things off. Enjoy!
10. One-Hitter Quitters - Cyrus - Average finish: 10th - Despite jumping on some flourishing Cleveland youngsters last season, this rookie owner couldn't put it together and finished 10th out of 12. We'll see if his strategy of drafting "all Indians, all the time" works out for him this year.
9. The Seattle Seven - Joe - Average finish: 9th - This owner had a fairly rough aught-5, finishing just ahead of the non-participatory Donnie. Here's hoping that Joe's intense scrutiny of the Port Huron statement leads to a solid drafting strategy and a better finish. Flower power!
7. Special Lady Friends - Kelly - Average finish: 8.5 - Most of Maude's bad luck last year was likely due to her stubborn reluctance to trade Eric Chavez.....until she dealt him to her husband, if I recall.....*cough*collusion*cough*. At any rate, Maude intends to make the rest of the league highly "uncomfortable" this year by finishing in the money (although she could achieve the same outcome by just saying "vagina").
7. Gashouse Gorillas - Mark - Average finish: 8.5 - Mark had an up and down season last year, and was a front runner and a favorite to "win it all" for a good period of time. However, mediocre power numbers kept him from collecting straight cash. His 5th place finish last year is a great improvement on his 12th place finish in '04. We'll see if the Gorillas can climb even farther up the standings this year.
6. Pepe's Pollsters - Rich - Average finish: 6th - The Emir of Alliteration returns! Rumor has it Rich plans on taking Bonds with his first round pick, so hands off! I think we all know what santa is going to leave under his tree next Christmas: http://www.gameofshadows.com/
5. Project Rinkenburger - Mac - Average finish: 5.5 - Last year's champ has been heard saying he's going to "F**k everybody's sh** up in o-six, especially that b**ch from Wisconsin." That's some pretty tough talk. We'll see how Mac fares if Maude finally has enough of his relentless Nomo-related bashing and refuses to conspire on trades in the future.
4.The Zesty Enterprise - Jefe - Average finish: 5th - Jefe had some mighty bad luck with injuries last year (or was it a lack of comprehensive research? hmmmm?), but enters 06 with a fresh view on things. Jeff knows this smiling portrait of the Samster (note: the picture of the Samster was removed at the request of Jefe. So lame.) will bring him good luck, and keep Corey Patterson and his .014 BA far from the Zesty batting order.
2. Rule of the Wrist - Adam - Average finish: 3rd - This first year owner came to play in '05, and finished in the money. While his Cardinals didn't fare well last year, this rock star hopes both teams (the Rule and the Cards) will be sitting on championships in 06. Also, he doesn't wear underwear. For real.
2. The Crazy 88s - Josh - Average finish: 3rd - Thinking out of the box rewarded this second year owner with 2nd place in 05. We'll see if he can draft better offensive players out of the gate this year. If Ichiro had only had an Ichiro-esque year in 05....sigh....
1. NoTalentAssClowns - Marc - Average finish: 2.5 - Target. On. Ass. Of. Leather. Pants.
That is all.
10. One-Hitter Quitters - Cyrus - Average finish: 10th - Despite jumping on some flourishing Cleveland youngsters last season, this rookie owner couldn't put it together and finished 10th out of 12. We'll see if his strategy of drafting "all Indians, all the time" works out for him this year.
9. The Seattle Seven - Joe - Average finish: 9th - This owner had a fairly rough aught-5, finishing just ahead of the non-participatory Donnie. Here's hoping that Joe's intense scrutiny of the Port Huron statement leads to a solid drafting strategy and a better finish. Flower power!
7. Special Lady Friends - Kelly - Average finish: 8.5 - Most of Maude's bad luck last year was likely due to her stubborn reluctance to trade Eric Chavez.....until she dealt him to her husband, if I recall.....*cough*collusion*cough*. At any rate, Maude intends to make the rest of the league highly "uncomfortable" this year by finishing in the money (although she could achieve the same outcome by just saying "vagina").
7. Gashouse Gorillas - Mark - Average finish: 8.5 - Mark had an up and down season last year, and was a front runner and a favorite to "win it all" for a good period of time. However, mediocre power numbers kept him from collecting straight cash. His 5th place finish last year is a great improvement on his 12th place finish in '04. We'll see if the Gorillas can climb even farther up the standings this year.
6. Pepe's Pollsters - Rich - Average finish: 6th - The Emir of Alliteration returns! Rumor has it Rich plans on taking Bonds with his first round pick, so hands off! I think we all know what santa is going to leave under his tree next Christmas: http://www.gameofshadows.com/
5. Project Rinkenburger - Mac - Average finish: 5.5 - Last year's champ has been heard saying he's going to "F**k everybody's sh** up in o-six, especially that b**ch from Wisconsin." That's some pretty tough talk. We'll see how Mac fares if Maude finally has enough of his relentless Nomo-related bashing and refuses to conspire on trades in the future.
4.The Zesty Enterprise - Jefe - Average finish: 5th - Jefe had some mighty bad luck with injuries last year (or was it a lack of comprehensive research? hmmmm?), but enters 06 with a fresh view on things. Jeff knows this smiling portrait of the Samster (note: the picture of the Samster was removed at the request of Jefe. So lame.) will bring him good luck, and keep Corey Patterson and his .014 BA far from the Zesty batting order.
2. Rule of the Wrist - Adam - Average finish: 3rd - This first year owner came to play in '05, and finished in the money. While his Cardinals didn't fare well last year, this rock star hopes both teams (the Rule and the Cards) will be sitting on championships in 06. Also, he doesn't wear underwear. For real.
2. The Crazy 88s - Josh - Average finish: 3rd - Thinking out of the box rewarded this second year owner with 2nd place in 05. We'll see if he can draft better offensive players out of the gate this year. If Ichiro had only had an Ichiro-esque year in 05....sigh....
1. NoTalentAssClowns - Marc - Average finish: 2.5 - Target. On. Ass. Of. Leather. Pants.
That is all.
posted by JJP | 7:45 PM
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Scoreboard biatch
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