The Year of the Remake

It’s been a year filled with remakes of old television shows and movies in Los Angeles. We already have a new Knight Rider show, a failed Bionic Woman show, a Terminator show, and new movie installments of Batman and Indiana Jones. There’s a likely A-Team movie on the horizon, talks of a Goonies sequel, and possibly a 3^rd Ghostbusters movie. With all these old shows and movies returning, perhaps we should not be surprised by the 6^th edition of the Los Angeles County Bowling League. While our league is not run by Hollywood execs, the Fantasy Baseball Gods have clearly put together yet another 80s movie remake.

Last year, the Boston Teabag Party came away with the LACBL championship trophy, while Mac Avery’s Gutterballs were left cradling the Golden Gibler Award for Roster Futility. To entertain themselves, the Fantasy Gods have decided to remake Trading Places for 2008, wagering one dollar that they could turn a homeless, luckless Mac Avery into league champion once again, and turn league champion Jeff Fine into the Golden Gibler winner.

By using an obscure loophole (i.e. marriage) to skirt the keeper rules, Mac was given an immediate infusion of talent that had not been subjected to his 2006-07 mismanagement. With the Fantasy Gods also giving Mac the gift of players like Josh Hamilton, Geovany Soto, and Edinson Volquez, they were able to turn this hapless loser into the king of Los Angeles.

Turning Jeff’s team into the Golden Gibler winner was easy as well. The Fantasy Gods gave this team a series of players who spent time in the minor leagues (Saltalamacchia, Longoria, Liriano), forcing roster moves that would not otherwise have been needed. A lack of multiple solid options at closer led the Lollygaggers to punt on saves, leading to a strategy of streaming starters that racked up dozens of moves. Finally, an endless rotation of pathetic performances at catcher and second base led to further futile roster moves.

What we were ultimately left with was a script that was all too familiar, and all too entertaining for our league’s version of Mortimer and Randolph Duke.