The Bowling League

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

We have a new journalist....

Sunday, March 26, 2006

Keeper League Rules

(Posted for Marc)
  • Each team is allowed to select up to 2 players as 'franchise' players - which can be held for up to three seasons - and up to 4 players as 'keepers' - which can only be retained for one additional season.
    • Each owner designates these players at the end of each season.
      • Technically, you do not declare your 'franchise' players until after season 2 when you try to retain 2 players for more than one additional season.
      • Once you declare your ‘franchise’ player, you may retain the player up to 3 years of total service.
    • Each owner must designate a minimum of 2 batters and 2 pitchers - thus, allowing for the following configurations: 3 pitchers/3 batters; 2 pitchers/4 batters; 4 pitchers/2 batters
    • Once a keeper or franchise player is traded to another team, the original owner must wait one season before they can reacquire that player in a trade.
      • However, if able, the owner may draft that player in the following draft.
      • This rule is designed to close a potential loophole in which two or more owners collude to trade franchise/keeper players to each other with the intention of trading them back after a short time.

  • We will now allow for the trading of draft picks under the following conditions:
    • Teams may only trade 'next year's' picks
      • For the 2006 season, you can only trade 2007 picks, not 2008 or later
    • Teams must trade an equal number of picks - this ensures everyone has the same number of picks in each draft for even rosters after the draft.

  • After this year, the league draft order will be determined based on the previous season's order of finish with the following exceptions:
    • The 1st round draft order will be determined each year by a lottery system (similar to the NBA draft lottery)
      • The 7 teams that do NOT finish “in the money” will participate in the Draft Lottery.
      • The number of entries is determined by the team finish the previous year: 10th - 7 entries, 9th - 6 entries, 8th - 5 entries, 7th - 4 entries, 6th - 3 entries, 5th – 2 entries, 4th – 1 entry
      • The 1st team name drawn receives the 1st pick in the draft. The 2nd team name drawn receives the 2nd pick in the draft. The 3rd team name selected receives the 3rd pick in the draft. After the top 3 picks are selected, the remaining draft order will be based on the previous season’s final standings.
        • Thus, the top 3 teams will automatically receive the 8, 9, 10 picks in the first round. The team with the worst record is guaranteed no worse that the 4th pick in the draft.
      • In all subsequent rounds, the order is based strictly on the snake-format based on the 1st round order.
      • This system is being adopted to create some risk for those seeking to tank the season in order to secure the #1 overall pick.

  • The entrance fee is $20. The payout structure is the following: 1st - $130, 2nd - $50, and 3rd - $20.

Thursday, March 23, 2006

Groundhog Redick Does Not See Shadow

Atlanta, GA - Associated Press

The world's most famous poetry-writing forecaster did not see his shadow Thursday evening in Atlanta, leading to an untimely loss by Duke in the Regional Semifinal game. According to tradition and folklore, this means that baseball season is officially upon us.

The prediction drew cheers from the devoted members of the Los Angeles County Bowling League, gathered in the Georgia Dome to witness the annual prediction.

Joe Sonka, a league member and longtime baseball enthusiast, was especially pleased with the beginning of the baseball season. When asked why he is so fond of the sport, Sonka exclaimed, "Three thousand years of beautiful tradition, from Moses to Sandy Koufax."

The beginning of baseball season can only mean one thing...draft day rapidly approaches!

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Power Rankings: 2006

Welcome to the official Bowling League power rankings for the 2006 season. We'll use the same format (average finish b/w 04 and 05) as last year in determining where teams stand to kick things off. Enjoy!

10. One-Hitter Quitters - Cyrus - Average finish: 10th - Despite jumping on some flourishing Cleveland youngsters last season, this rookie owner couldn't put it together and finished 10th out of 12. We'll see if his strategy of drafting "all Indians, all the time" works out for him this year.



















9. The Seattle Seven - Joe - Average finish: 9th - This owner had a fairly rough aught-5, finishing just ahead of the non-participatory Donnie. Here's hoping that Joe's intense scrutiny of the Port Huron statement leads to a solid drafting strategy and a better finish. Flower power!










7. Special Lady Friends - Kelly - Average finish: 8.5 - Most of Maude's bad luck last year was likely due to her stubborn reluctance to trade Eric Chavez.....until she dealt him to her husband, if I recall.....*cough*collusion*cough*. At any rate, Maude intends to make the rest of the league highly "uncomfortable" this year by finishing in the money (although she could achieve the same outcome by just saying "vagina").











7. Gashouse Gorillas - Mark - Average finish: 8.5 - Mark had an up and down season last year, and was a front runner and a favorite to "win it all" for a good period of time. However, mediocre power numbers kept him from collecting straight cash. His 5th place finish last year is a great improvement on his 12th place finish in '04. We'll see if the Gorillas can climb even farther up the standings this year.












6. Pepe's Pollsters - Rich - Average finish: 6th - The Emir of Alliteration returns! Rumor has it Rich plans on taking Bonds with his first round pick, so hands off! I think we all know what santa is going to leave under his tree next Christmas: http://www.gameofshadows.com/












5. Project Rinkenburger - Mac - Average finish: 5.5 - Last year's champ has been heard saying he's going to "F**k everybody's sh** up in o-six, especially that b**ch from Wisconsin." That's some pretty tough talk. We'll see how Mac fares if Maude finally has enough of his relentless Nomo-related bashing and refuses to conspire on trades in the future.












4.The Zesty Enterprise - Jefe - Average finish: 5th - Jefe had some mighty bad luck with injuries last year (or was it a lack of comprehensive research? hmmmm?), but enters 06 with a fresh view on things. Jeff knows this smiling portrait of the Samster (note: the picture of the Samster was removed at the request of Jefe. So lame.) will bring him good luck, and keep Corey Patterson and his .014 BA far from the Zesty batting order.











2. Rule of the Wrist - Adam - Average finish: 3rd - This first year owner came to play in '05, and finished in the money. While his Cardinals didn't fare well last year, this rock star hopes both teams (the Rule and the Cards) will be sitting on championships in 06. Also, he doesn't wear underwear. For real.











2. The Crazy 88s - Josh - Average finish: 3rd - Thinking out of the box rewarded this second year owner with 2nd place in 05. We'll see if he can draft better offensive players out of the gate this year. If Ichiro had only had an Ichiro-esque year in 05....sigh....











1. NoTalentAssClowns - Marc - Average finish: 2.5 - Target. On. Ass. Of. Leather. Pants.

That is all.