Announcement:

Due to special considerations, the Cole Hamels sweepstakes will not be decided by the traditional wavier claim order method. The Bowling League will host a swords-and-bowling-balls cage match in which all interested owners may compete. The winner of this free-for-all will have the exclusive rights to the Phillies' 36k/1bb phenom. Be sure to bring either a (1) curved saber or (2) a 12lb (or under) bowling ball in carrying bag. Cage match location and date TBA.

Zesty Enterprise Sues Breast Cancer Foundation

Los Angeles - Associated Press

This Sunday, on Mother's Day, approximately 50 major league players will be using "baby pink" bats, created by Louisville Slugger for the occassion.

The use of these bats is designed to raise money for the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation. While this sounds like a noble endeavor, it will likely cost this foundation more money than it raises. Jeff Fine, owner of the Zesty Enterprise, has filed a class-action lawsuit against the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation for infringement of an existing patent. The Zesty Enterprise applied for a patent on "baby pink" bats, cleats, and batting helmets at the beginning of the baseball season, well-before the recent charitable decision.

Fine's case is a strong one, as there are hundreds of photographs of "Zesty" players sporting the pink equipment since early April. Zesty catcher Joe Mauer, pictured left, is seen hitting a long fly-ball out on April 11th. The Zesty lawsuit is also supported by the team's 10th place position in the HR, RBI, and OPS categories in the Los Angeles County Bowling League.

Anything but grading!

Conflict emerges as Bonds approaches Ruth’s HR mark.

Editorial Note

The Bowling League Editors Desk does not approve of the words "Gibler" "Clenched" "Grip" and "Butz (or Butts, or any other phonetic variations of said term)" being used in the same sentence. We apologize for any emotional or physical stress this combination many have caused our readers.

-Ed.

Gibler Clenched Firmly in the Grip of Butz

Los Angeles - Associated Press

With 17 transactions thus far in the Bowling League and only 51.5 league points (at the moment), the Golden Gibler Award for Roster Futility is in the hands of the Rule of the Wrist.

While Fording and Fine are within range of this shameful position, the Gibby currently belongs to RotW owner Adam Butz.